Victoria Carlton ~ The Child Whisperer

I was talking to a very dedicated teacher last week who told me she has lots of parents who ask if their children can have a “rest” from homework as it makes them angry and upset. I experience the same phenomenon- parents asking for a “rest” from learning for a couple of terms- often for children who are 2-4 years behind in their learning but have normal intelligence.
So why do they need a rest?
Why are parents saying things like:

• “I just can’t get him to work”.
  “When she gets angry I just have to give in- it’s too hard!”
  “The pressure is too much.”
  “She won’t read.”
  “She refuses to learn her spelling.”
  “The program is not working.” (After 3 sessions!) What they mean is “My child is not working!”
• Why is this happening?
  What is the “rest” from?-
  Success?
  A happy future?
  Reaching a reasonable standard?
  A satisfying career?
  High self-esteem?
  A great sense of I CAN and resilience?

So- parents wake up and realise if your child has a problem with learning – stick at the chosen solution. If your child is two years behind, why do you think it will be cleared up in a few weeks? Yes- it WILL take hard work. Our teachers will identify problems and do their best to help your child. Your job is to ensure your child does their work. We prefer not to take children if their parents are not committed to helping them and able to insist on daily practice.

Of course children will whinge and complain. It’s hard work and they don’t want to do it! Do you like to do things that are hard?

Learn to ignore the constant negative stream and make them do the work anyway. They will thank you one day.

A colleague quipped recently, “Parents who give their children a rest should be a-rested!”
YOU are the parent and THEY are the children. This means YOU are in charge and as YOU are the adult- act like one and make sensible decisions that will benefit your children.
Tough love is more real than taking the soft option that will likely lead to a miserable future!

GROW UP PARENTS AND TAKE YOUR POWER!

Thinking about spelling today and ploughing through a lot of older and recent research. Nothing new seems to ever come up in this area. I honestly think there are a few facts and once we know these it is up to us as teachers to just make sure we pass them on and help kids master these spelling codes!

1. All kids need to learn about words, letters and concepts of print. They all need the main sounds and these must be taught thoroughly and systematically- and in my mind there is no doubt that JOLLY PHONICS achieves this really well! If they know these sounds they can progress onto 2/3/4 letter blends and start to use the digraphs and alternative vowels.
2. Learning about word families such as “og” and “ack” will help hasten progress.
3. All kids need to learn the alphabet names and order.
4. All kids need to learn the spellings of tricky words such as BECAUSE – by saying the letter names because the sounds don’t provide much help with these tricky ones!
5. Children need access to theme words and to words that have intrinsic interest to them-so they need a notebook or dictionary for these.
6. And, above all,  we need to USE these words. Children who have regular dictation exercises using taught words seem to learn at a faster rate and certainly retain the word patterns.
7. There are myriad games and activities to use to help with spelling development and I will include a couple every day on our STAR: STUDENTS AT RISK face-book group for the next week.
8. The thing is,  we judge people by their spelling- so wrongly! But it happens so we need to get this right and actually teach kids to spell rather than just giving them long lists of words to figure out for themselves.
9. It is high time teachers had the TIME to teach these skills. Some of the educational time thieves need to be banned so we can get on with making the main thing the main thing!

Tonight I watched my favourite TV program Q and A – happily tweeting comments in and pondered how interactive and curiously satisfying digital media can be. If we can only get ourselves under control in terms of distractibility we might gain so much.
How do we do this? Well- it probably comes down to old fashioned self-control- switching off at times and learning to choose our times wisely. And how do we teach this to kids? By modelling and setting limits! This media is so compelling and so NOW and IN OUR FACES- it’s not as easy as putting a bookmark in and sliding the book under the bed. Or is it? Are we making this much harder than it needs to be?

We need to crack this question open and view it from all angles. What happens now to kids in terms of digital media, imaginations, creativity, concentration and the wonderful sense of connectedness we COULD get if we get it right is in our hands. But we need to move fast and with wisdom.
ideas please? As educators we need some!

A few more days till incense, bells, processions of priests who look like they have stepped back in time as well as chocolate overload, roast lamb and family feasting. We LOVE these festivals- no matter what our creed.

But before the feasting and chocolate overload comes the sadness, the sombre tones of Good Friday, hot crossed buns, altars stripped bare, churches bereft of flowers; then the waiting and deep reflection as down to the tomb Christians go and there it is:  the unbridled joy of Easter morning. And what a glorious morning it always seems to be!

We love our bells and smells- but why? And why do children love these times so much?

I don’t think it is just the ancient symbol of Easter bunny, delicious chocolate or butter soaked hot cross buns children hang out for. I don’t think it is even the absence of school- although that is certainly a welcome event for many!

Instead, it is the ritual itself, the sense of order, “holy routine”, tradition- call it what you may. This turning of the wheel both comforts us, uplifts us and  pushes us to explore the “otherness” inside and outside ourselves.

In this very secular world, so many children are denied the opportunity to explore from a faith perspective with parents feeling that absence of Temple, Mosque or Church will allow more freedom for children to think. I believe it actually has the opposite effect. Children have this deep need for ritual, routine and faith- it is build in to us- sort of like a “God gene”.

We have a time during every teaching session called the GATHERING. Children LOVE this time and hang out for it- and complain loudly if we miss it! During this time we turn the lights down, switch on an enormous red star, sing a motivational song, acknowledge the traditional owners of the land and give out merit certificates.

The children are so quiet and attentive during this time and each day I am reminded of their deep hunger for this sense of tradition, this ancient gathering and the comfort of community.

So- if not a church going family, why not at least light a candle together at dinner time this Easter and tell children it represents the light that love brings into the world? Why not tell them that the chocolate in their Easter eggs is so sweet- just like the sweetness of human kindness and maybe write a few family goals for the coming year? Tell them that eggs are like life beginnings and so are our goals.

Whatever your creed (or lack of), Easter can be a time for renewal- renewal of ourselves, our hopes and visions, our love for each other and our deep understanding of ourselves and this wonderful world we dwell in!

Let’s spread so much love and kindness from this time on that we provide an antidote to the terrible KKK killings in the US, terrorist bombing in Nigeria and all the conflict and evil around us. The light IS stronger than the dark. Darken your rooms this Easter and then switch on the lights and tell your children this is what love can do for the world- it can illuminate every grotty, evil corner and flood it with warmth, comfort and kindness!

 

Yet again we have had the unhappy experience of seeing one of our really bright kids labelled because he does not fit the educational mould! This is a young man with exceptional ideas, writing ability and very high maths logic intelligence. This kid will probably become a famous sci-fi writer or an inventor/scientist- this is of course unless the system manages to stick him in a box, shut the lid and label him learning disabled. (They have been trying for 3 years!)  Fortunately his brave and far sighted parents have been able to stand tall and show their belief in their son- but what a battle they have had!

Sure his handwriting is poor (so is mine!) and he goes off on thinking tangents when reflecting deeply (not unusual for a very bright person!). This kid also does not “play the game”. He yawns when tired or bored and is not interested in impressing the increasing number of eager “education box fillers” so totally skews their test results.

All my teachers agree with me- this kid is gifted yet learns differently! Why not nurture his talents and allow him to be the person God programmed him to be! As we keep up our slow march into Holy Week we would be wise to ponder and remember the wise men and women of history who were also labelled, not accepted and treated so badly by the establishment. Have we really come very far at all in 2014 years?

As we start the big countdown to Holy Week I notice the many references to faith and cannot help thinking about STAR KIDS- Students At Risk.

They desperately want us to believe in them and to keep that faith- even through their dark walks in the educational wilderness!

Yesterday I worked with a very mixed group of Primary kids- 3 years ahead to three years behind and I was struck by the way that they all have challenges and gifts. 2 of the group of 12 were pretty close to being maths geniuses and 2 fairly close behind that! 4 were very gifted with creative writing and I child who is meant to have literacy problems could not get his nose out of our wonderful Easter books!

As we were playing a finishing learning game I commented to them about how high their SMART factor was- they looked very pleased and I told them we only take SMART kids. One child looked at me STUNNED-(very low self-esteem child) and I explained that ALL kids are smart but don’t always get to show it. I grabbed my new book ALL KIDS ARE SMART and did a flip through pointing out various contents and one of them asked if they could compose a song entitled ALL KIDS ARE SMART! Of course I grabbed the opportunity and now their holiday task is to write a song for our ALL KIDS ARE SMART song competition!

The thing is- they ARE all smart but we so often miss it and we need to keep the faith in our children and know the lights are on there somewhere and we have to be like patient cavers plumbing the depths of our kids’ brains. The lights are there- but we have to help flip the switch with creative, innovative teaching methods that do not discriminate against children. In other words- if they learn differently- teach differently!

I have just completed a 2 day STAR (Students at Risk) seminar for teachers in Adelaide and once again I am wrung out, exhausted and empty and in awe of what makes these teachers tick!

Each time I run this seminar only teachers who really want to be there register and they know EXACTLY what they want and make sure they get it. It is like they come on behalf of their class, determined to get answers and to have more strategies to take back to help their kids.

This course is transformative and a real journey as we track down the reasons for the problems, realise the problems may actually turn out to be gifts and learn how to plan a practical plan to lift the self-esteem and academic performance of low achieving students. We look at the following issues:

• There are so many students who miss out on what they actually need as we hurtle in our great speed dragging these protesting kids with us and never asking them what they need. There is only one way to REALLY help these STAR children and it can be messy, time consuming and does not often entail yet more tests and labels being slapped all over them!
• To TRULY help a failing child, a teacher needs to get on the floor with them and BE with them- talk to them, ask them about themselves, observe them, travel for awhile on their uneven, obstacle strewn pathway and patiently work out a plan WITH the child. They love it when a teacher takes the time to observe, chat and get to know them.
  These kids are human beings- not some sort of machine to be set on a factory line and stuffed full of knowledge. We need to try looking for their interests and strengths and use these to work on weaknesses.

Above all

• These STAR children need hope, our belief in them and they need to see possibilities- especially the possibility that a system that has so badly failed them can actually change and acknowledge we are all different, all need each other and no- we don’t need to all learn in the same way!

One of the 8 identified intelligences is the NATURALIST one and I wonder if we really do a lot to develop this.

We are so zoned into word/maths intelligences with a slight nod to the other 6 but I often feel the NATURALIST intelligence is almost ignored- and yet it is SO important.

I parked in my gym car-park yesterday and stood watching a young Dad trying to get his two kids to stop watching the horses in the adjoining field. (We have a circus in town!)

The horses were really just standing around staring nonchalantly at the kids but the kids were transfixed. No amount of coaxing with promises of wave pools, ice-creams and the like would move these kids! Fortunately the father had the good sense to give up and join his sons as they stared in rapt wonder!

Watch kids with family pets- they so often seem to communicate in a way we simply cannot because we do not allow ourselves the freedom  to do this. One of our students recently asked me to join him staring down a drain at some worm-like creatures and forgetting how passing people might consider me- I joined him, laying flat out on my tummy and time seemed to stop. Later that night I remembered lying on the lawn at my parents’ house for hours watching ants and imagining I was in their world.

Last year, in an effort to increase the concentration span of children, I instituted a few creative activities where children had to choose a plant, flower or leaf from the ICE garden and faithfully sketch all the strange squiggles, colours and shapes they observed. You could have heard a pin drop for the entire activity and the results were pretty amazing. The kids wanted to talk about what they had discovered while sketching and we were able to generate great sentences with well chosen adjectives as we had this discussion.

It is ALWAYS worth bring nature into the classroom and sometimes taking kids outside to learn. We have an outside, shaded learning area now and I love reading stories to children under it, or letting children write outside. The results always speak for themselves!

No matter what the weather, there are always ways to help children connect with nature. Just a simple WONDER table for special “found” treasures will provoke curiosity and help improve expressive language. There are so many literacy and maths understandings that can be improved with a study of nature.

Symmetry, duration of life cycles, seasons, graphing growth, measuring, describing plants and animals, exploring narratives that have animals as main characters, writing poetry about beloved pets, imagining being back with the dinosaurs………. the list is endless!

I urge all parents, caregivers and educators to closely examine ways they can include these types of activities within learning experiences. You will have more peaceful kids who can concentrate, closely observe and feel happier about their learning! You may even heighten your own Naturalist intelligence!